Subscribe RSS

Tag-Archive for » infidelity «

Making Up With Ex After Infidelity

Cheating is, of course, one of the biggest reasons that relationships break up.  When cheating has occurred, the other person believes “I can’t ever trust him or her again.”

That is a common refrain when cheating occurs.  Trust is essential to close, intimate, real love.  When it is broken, we feel like there is no hope for getting it back.  Even if we loved much about our mate, if they cheated on us, we don’t see how we could ever be happy again with them, how could we trust them after such a sense of betrayal.  You can learn more about getting your ex back after infidelity here.

For this reason trust is one of the largest problems in break ups.  Your ex is wondering if they can ever truly trust you not to cheat on them again.  Why get back together if there is just going to be more cheating?  So when break ups happen due to cheating, on of the big issue on your ex’s mind is

Can I ever feel that I can trust you after this?

I mean, if they rejected you because of some problem behavior, like cheating, or fighting, or not communicating with them, then they need to know BEFORE they let you come back that you wont keep doing the thing they left you about.

The emotion of broken trust/betrayal is one of the toughest feelings for an ex lover to get over.  We all believe that trust takes a long time to build.  So when it’s broken, we usually believe it is unfixable, correct?

You must understand the trust issue to see how you can get back together with your ex.  If you can’t deal with the feelings of betrayal and broken trust and the complete emotional distance that it causes, you won’t be able to get back together.  And, if you do somehow luck out and they give you another chance, it won’t last, because without trust there can’t be the feeling of closeness and intimacy we all really want.

So how can you deal with and repair trust issues?  This is a large subject, but one thing that is easy to see is that in most break ups, we all try to avoid blame.  So we tend to try to lay the blame elsewhere.  We say things like “I cheated because I drank too much!”  Or, “I cheated because you were cold and distant!”  The natural way we react when big issues like cheating come up is to try to avoid the blame. 

Give those excuses to your ex and shell think you’re a weak idiot.  She may take you back, but it wont last, there will be real distance, because those excuses don’t allow her to trust you.  What if you get drunk again?  What if she is cold to you a month from now?  What if a pretty skirt tempts you tomorrow when you’re walking down the street? So one of the first powerful things you can do is accept blame.  Take full responsibility.  Don’t offer weak or lame excuses.  You can learn a full system for resolving relationship conflict here.

Instead of weak excuses, you can say something like “I know I broke your trust in me, and I’m so sorry that I did this and made you feel so hurt…”

That is a powerful start to repairing the trust.  If you got cheated on hearing that can help you to begin to deal with the infidelity.  Its like when you have kids and they screw up and you catch them and they try to lie or blame someone else it makes you much angrier.  But if they own up to it you can forgive them much more easily.

There are many other steps that need to be followed before you can truly begin to repair the trust, but this is a very big initial step!  Go here for a free course on Get Relationship Advice.

How To Track a Cheating Spouse - Know Where They Are & Where They Have Been Using Real Time GPS

There are many types of spy equipment on the market. The real time tracking device may, however be the most useful.

Real Time GPS - With a real time GPS tracker you can get all the same information that a GPS logger will provide. However, through the use of website based software, accessed via the internet, or even a cell phone you will be able to see where the tracker is right now in real time. For example your partner calls you and says he/she has to work late. You could simply log onto the website and see where his/her car is right now and not after the fact.

There are may models of real time GPS on the market. One of the main things that you want to be aware of is the monthly subscription fees. When you purchase the tracker you will have to subscribe to a website to access the software to get locations and history reports. The monthly fee can range from $19 per month to $89 per month depending on the company used and the amount of usage.

Battery life could be the single biggest factor in choosing a real time GPS tracker. Many of the smaller GPS tracker’s batteries will only last 6-8 hours depending on how often the tracker is set up to report it’s location. Always take into account how long the tracker will stay on the vehicle before you can change the batteries.

One of the most reliable and cost effective GPS units on the market is the Trim Trac Pro Real Time Tracker. It has a battery life of up to 90 days and is totally self contained. Complicated wiring and mounting a GPS antenna are things of the past. Simply, put it on or in the car and you are ready to track it.

Some trackers can text the current location to a cell phone without having a subscription. With text messaging you only get the coordinates in most cases. If you have internet access and a computer you could use Google Earth to translate the coordinates onto a map, otherwise the text may be useless to you.

When placing the GPS tracker on the vehicle there are several things to consider.

  1. The tracker must be able to communicate with the satellites and the cellular towers. The GPS tracker cannot be completely enclosed by metal. Placing the tracker in the trunk is not always the best option. Under a seat or in the glove box will almost always work. The tracker can be put under the vehicle in some cases but is not the best option. When under the car it should be placed as close to the outside edge as possible and keep as many sides of the tracker free from obstructing metal as you can.
  2. Easy removal. Be sure that you can easily remove the tracker from the vehicle. You will need to change the batteries occasionally. If you put the tracker inside of the vehicle but don’t have easy access then the tracker will do you no good when the batteries run out.

If you want to know exactly where your spouse spends their time try a real time gps tracker. I hope this helps.

Find Out If Your Spouse is Cheating Using a GPS Tracker

Using a hidden GPS tracker is a very easy and cost effective way to see where your spouse is spending their time.

Many people think that it is necessary to hire a private investigator (costing thousands of dollars) when you want to know where someone is spending their time. However, if you are willing to put modern technology to work for you can find out the same information without the huge expense of hiring a P.I.

It is now possible to track someone using a small GPS tracking device that uses military satellites to find someone’s location to within feet of there actual position. Basically there are two types of trackers.

GPS Logger - Think of a logging device as a sort of video recorder that records the locations, speed traveled, time spent at locations and so on. So if you are wanting to know where your partner has been spending his/her time this tracking device can be very helpful. Verifying your spouses whereabouts is easy using a GPS tracker. For example your partner is spending time at someone’s house or meeting them at a motel, or says that he/she is working late, with the logger you will know exactly where he/she has been and for how long. This device is very small and totally self contained.

I have used many different models and the most reliable and easiest to use is the Professional Mini Tracker.

Simply place the GPS tracker in or on the target vehicle using the magnetic mount. When you are ready to view the information you take it off or out of the vehicle and connect it to a USB port on your computer to download the information. The locations and routes that the vehicle took can then be viewed on a map, a satellite image or in text format. Saving the information on your computer or a CD to use as evidence later is also a good idea.

A real time GPS tracker will be needed if you want to be able to see where the car is without removing the GPS tracker from the vehicle. Keep an eye out for a coming article on real time GPS trackers.

Spouse Cheating? Find Out Using These Basic Methods

If you suspect that your partner or spouse is not being faithful or is having an affair their are many methods that can be used to find out the truth. This article will cover some of the basics that anyone can do with know special equipment or training.

If you would like to use a more “high tech” approach such as spy cameras or GPS trackers please visit an online spy store.

The first thing that you should do is keep a detailed record of reported activities of your partner or spouse. Write down the times, dates, places, other people involved, excuses given, etc. The notes that you have been taking will be irreplacable when you compare them to phone bills, bank statements, ATM receipts, etc. A spouse that is cheating is very likely to change thier story, and will try to challenge your memory when you confront them, a detailed record of everything is extremely important for this reason.

Keep track of all incoming phone calls. Record the time and number of all calls.

Go through the trash, his or her wallet, purse, pockets etc. when they are not around. If your partner is going to restaurants, bars, movies or anywhere else with their suspected lover there will be receipts and they will surely want to get rid of them. There is the possablity that he will be reckless placing them in the trash at home or hiding them. If you find anything that you are suspicious of or cannot explain save it as evidence or write down the details and put the receipt back where you found it so that he/she does not get suspicious. Your partner is already being secretive so do not let them know that you are suspicious of them or they will go to even greater lengths to cover their tracks.

Plan a surprise visit to work, or come home at unexpected times, or tell your partner that you have to work late, but then come home early, etc..

Keep track of your partner’s mileage, receipts, credit card statements, atm withdrawals (unaccounted for cash), phone records, etc.

If you can, check your Partner’s call log. Look for phone numbers with an unusual number of calls. Keep in mind that cheating spouses often store their lover’s phone number under someone else’s name (a friend, a co-worker, etc.).

You should never confront your partner until you’re certain that you have enough evidence to make your case. And never reveal all of your evidence at once. When presented with evidence many cheating partners will make up a story that fits that evidence. But, if you withhold some evidence, and let your spouse/partner create a story, it gives you the opportunity to use the remaining evidence as leverage. By strategically withholding evidence, your spouse will start to question exactly how much you know, increasing the chance that he or she will tell the truth.

If you get somthing unusual be sure that you have enough proof before you approach your spouse, so if you don’t get a confession you are satisfied on your own terms.

Think for a minute about how your partner might try to dismiss your accusations (we were just joking around, I was just flirting, it was a misunderstanding, we are just friends, nothing happened, etc.). Try to predict how your spouse will likely respond to your aligations so that you can get the evidence you may need ahead of time.

The important things to remember are, be diligent in your investigation, keep thorough records and save anything and everything.

For more information on how to catch a cheating spouse please read my free e book Proven Methods To Catch A Cheating Spouse

What Not To Do If You Suspect That Your Spouse Is Cheating

At this point, if you are reading this, you have probably already done some sort of investigating or maybe even used  spy equipment to find out what is going on.I know that you need to know what is going on, you want answers now? If you think that your spouse is cheating, and are going to do a little investigating, what you do not do is just as important as the things that you do. In general you do not want to tip your cheating spouse off to the fact that you are suspicious of their cheating or infidelity.

The biggest mistake that you could possibly make is to confront your spouse before you have done an investigation and/or have proof of the affair that they cannot deny. In no way should you let your spouse no that you are suspicious. He/she is already being secretive and hiding the truth from you. If you tip them off it will make it harder to find the truth.

They will most likely deny it if you ask them directly ,and they really don’t have a choice. He / she has to deny it if they are not cheating. If there is an affair going on, but the don’t want to end your relationship, there is a good chance that they will deny it beacause they don’t want to damage the relationship beyond repair. If they are cheating on you and they plan on leaving, our experience tells us that they will lie to you until the very last minute for one of two reasons, the person they want to be with is not 110% committed to be with them indefinitely or they feel that they cannot get divorced due to monetary or religious concerns. In short, there is almost no opportunity for the truth to come out on it’s own and if it does, the timing is completely controlled by your unfaithful spouse.

The bottom line is that if he/she knows that you are onto them they will go to even greater lengths to cover their tracks, making it even more difficult for you to find out the truth.

Please read my free course on how to catch a cheating spouse