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Weeping Like A Small Child Did Not Get My Ex Wife Back - Psychological Voodoo Did
Wednesday, September 02nd, 2009 • admin

When my ex wife left me I was a wreck. It was such a shock that I could barely function.

I was crying like a baby for no reason. I was having a hard time at work.

I constantly tried to call and text her but it seems all I was doing was driving the wedge between us even deeper.

In hindsight this was the wrong thing to do. I should have been doing the opposite of what I was doing.

I got hold of a step by step system that claimed it would get my wife back. To say I was sceptical was an understatement.

I decided to give the system a go, I had little to lose here. I took it’s advice and ceased all contact with my ex.

I then did as it suggested and took some time to get my head right. This worked great for me as I started feeling more positive almost straight away.

The system had an eye opening bonus section about psychological mind games. We rarely know but we are psychologically manipulated all the time.

This is the kind of stuff I like. Although to be honest I was unaware of how poweful these psychological tactics are.

We are manipulated by these tricks on a daily basis. Mostly advertising but also our government is quite expert with these tricks.

Over the years the government has manipulated us small step by small step into a position where they want us.

It still goes on and they will eventually put us in a position where we happily give them most of our wages in tax.

The psychological steps in the system worked on a similar line. Get my ex back by getting her to agree to small things and moving up to slightly bigger things all the time.

We started with a little step of her just agreeing to meet me. After this we move up slightly to having coffee together.

The next step involves having lunch together a few times to let her get into a comfort zone.

We move on to a meal out maybe in a restaurant and onto a proper night out. Then to get her to stay over after the night out.

The next and last step is getting her to move back in permanently. It’s not a big step from staying over regularly to moving back in. Total time taken was about 6 weeks.

If this is something you think you’d like to try to get your ex back then you should give it a go. It works and it will continue to work. Get a better review at my site.

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Should I Use Psychological Tricks To Get My Wife Back
Monday, August 24th, 2009 • admin

The article title is a question you may well be asking yourself. Would it be ok and ethical to get my wife back with psychological tricks? In my opinion it’s ok.

I’m sure there’s lots of talk about how devious it is to use psychological tricks but the fact remains we use these and other tricks every day.

Most days we will use some form of psychology or psychological mind games.

We may use reverse psychological tricks on our work mates or friends. We may even use them on our kids when they are being particularly stubborn.

We seldom know we are doing this. As it’s part of our lives to coerce people into doing something with some magic words.

Imagine going out for a run but your friend just isn’t up for it. You quietly let them know it’s fine if they don’t feel physically up to the task. Before you know it their pride takes over and they are bursting to get going.

You used a psychological trick there to get your friend to take the action you wanted. Psychological tricks at work. Looking at it like this it seems ok to use, certainly not sneaky.

You can put these tricks in to play to get your ex back just as easy. When I was trying to get my wife back I used a curiosity trick.

I intended to leave her a phone message with a few sentences in that she just had to be curious about. She certainly was and she got back to me within a day or two.

You may want to try putting a song she really loves on in the background while she’s on the phone. This connects the song and you in her mind and she starts to see you favourably again.

How about cooking something you know she loves next time she visits. She may only be visiting to pick up her stuff but if she smells her favorite food the good memories come flooding back.

There’s a whole host of tricks like these you can add to your plan to get your wife back. But the fact remains you got to have a solid plan if you want the right result.

If you haven’t got a plan of action you are destined to fail as these tricks won’t cut it on their own. You should get a plan of action like the one I used when I needed to get my wife back.

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Get Ex Back Using Power Words
Thursday, August 20th, 2009 • admin

To get your ex back, there is no one solution that will work for everyone.  Each break up happens for a different main reason.  The three main reasons are that you wronged your partner, or they wronged you, or there was relationship drift and they just aren’t that into you anymore.  You can learn more about how to get your ex back here.

What you need to do first if you want to get your ex back is to figure out which of those three reasons caused your break up.  That’s because there is a different strategy to use to get your ex back in each case.

But there are some real power phrases you can use that will often work regardless of why you broke up.  These power words are often effective at touching your ex’s heart.  Here’s one very powerful phrase

“Losing you from my life is the biggest mistake I’ve ever made…”  Do you see how these words might possibly reach in and touch your ex’s heart?

Think about it.  Maybe you wronged your mate.  Maybe you cheated on them or didn’t pay them enough attention or whatever.  They gave you the boot.  Now you’ve been apart for a week or so.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder and you want them back.  You can learn more resolving relationship conflict specifics here.

Your ex’s heart may be growing a bit fonder with absence as well.  They may have moments of regret over not having you in their life.  If you then tell them that losing you was a huge mistake, it can be very powerful.  You can at least see what happens.

You’ve got to really mean it when you say it.  You can’t say it as a trick or as a manipulation to get them to feel sorry for you.  And, you can only use it once to get your ex back.  If they take you back you’ve got to show them that you’ve learned from your past and you’ve got to treat them right.

Now, there are other parts in an effective Immediate Reconnect Strategy.  You will likely need more than just this phrase.  But if you feel it’s really true for you, say it to your ex.  It may touch their heart enough to make them consider giving you a second chance!  You can get a complete system for how to get your ex back here.

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Love Advice On Male Intimacy Issues
Sunday, June 14th, 2009 • admin

intimacy

It is obvious that the way men and women approach relationship is different.  Nothing unusual there.  But it is useful relationship intelligence to understand a bit more about how men and women are lined up towards intimacy. You can get info on How To Fix Relationship Problems here.

Men don’t generally practice intimacy in the same way as women.  They don’t get much practice growing up at nurturing, empathizing, and being other focused.  It was not in their enculteration as children.

Yes, men know how to communicate in relationship, but the way in which we communicate is often different than females, it is usually oriented towards problem-solving (a form of winning), and establishing dominance (or avoiding it from others).

Men grow up to know a lot about winning and dominance and not much about connection and intimacy and love.  As a general rule, men may not know that much about how to empathize and connect and nurture others.

Growing up, boys play different games than girls.  Playing cowboys and Indians and playing army, boys learn about territory and dominance.  Nothing wrong with boys playing such games, it is actually good for them developmentally, but they don’t learn much about loving and empathizing and nurturing.  You can get more How To Get Help For Relationships here.

Girls played with dolls.  They played house.  They had imaginary tea parties.  These are games of nurturing and socializing.  Girls actually learn and play at intimacy growing up.  This is a powerful difference.  So given the different ways genders are socialized, when it comes to building intimacy, who has the most innate skill?

Is it men, who learned early to say “I shot you, you are dead!”  Or is it women, who learned early how to nurture and empathize and socialize? 

Here then is the point.  Men, recognize that you may need some help learning to nurture and empathize and connect with others, including your mate.  Women, don’t go around assuming your should know what to do when it comes to nurturing and loving.  You may have to gently guide them in the right direction.  Intimacy factors can be learned!  You can learn more about Fixing Relationship Problems  here.

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Getting Your Ex Back With One Vital Skill
Wednesday, June 03rd, 2009 • admin

relationship advice

There are lots of reasons that relationships break up.  Two of the three main reasons relationships break up are that you wronged your mate or they wronged you.  If you cheated on your ex or fought with them too much, you wronged them.  If they committed infidelity or were too controlling, for example, they wronged you.  You can learn more about getting ex back here. 

If your mate wronged you or you them, there is one very important step to getting your ex back that can work quickly.  If you use it, you can often get your ex back in hours or days, not months.  This step can be called venting.  Venting is getting things off one’s chest.  Why is this so important to getting your ex back quickly?

Because when you get dumped by your ex, it means that the good feelings they had for you are now replaced by negative feelings.  Anger, sadness, hurt, betrayal now take the place of happiness, pleasure, love and intimacy.  This is easy to understand.    But hardly anyone knows what to do about these negative feelings.  Sure, you can wait a month or six to see if time heals the wound, but what if you want your ex back in a day or a week?  Is there any way to speed up the process of healing those negative feelings?

One powerful way to resolve negative feelings is to vent them.  To let them go.  To get them off one’s chest.  So you can call you ex and ask them how what you did made them feel.  That’s a start.  Then you have to be quiet and let them start telling you, let them start venting.  You can get a complete system for Get Your Ex Back In Hours here that goes into detail.

Picture a balloon full of hot air.  The hot air is the negative hurt feelings from what happened.  When they get to vent, these feelings begin to release.  The balloon of anger or hurt deflates.  The key to venting is to just listen, not to argue or defend or try to justify what you did.  The more you can get your ex to vent, the faster they will let go of the hurt feelings.

This same strategy works the other way if they wronged you.  If you want them back after, say, they cheated on you, you need to release your bad feelings about what they did before you can really take them back.  So you ask them to just listen and not defend while you vent.

You already know about this tool.  You’ve probably used it many times over a beer with a friend getting things off your chest about work or your personal life, for example.

Using the tool of venting to get your ex back, along with a few others, can allow you to clear the air and resolve your issues much more quickly.  Instead of waiting months hoping they get over it, you can usually get them back starting in just hours from now.  You can get a free course on How To Get Relationship Help here.

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Get Ex Back By Asking Wisely
Saturday, May 30th, 2009 • admin

Your ex dumped you and you want them back.  So you’ve called and made a powerful apology about what you did wrong.  Now what do you say to get them to give you another chance? You can learn more about bad relationship advice here.

A good first thing to realize is that each break up is different.  You can’t make a blanket rule about what to say or do.  You have to feel it out with your ex.

Let’s say that you wronged your mate and were too controlling and jealous.  You have apologized powerfully to them and they have at least listened to your apology.  They seem to be open to you again.  Now what?  If you are too pushy they will think you haven’t really changed, won’t they?

So you ask for a second chance.  You say something natural.  “Will you give me a second chance?”  That is simple and normal.  Where the skill comes in is realizing the ball is in their court now.  Let them have the ball and take the time they need to consider your request.

Understand that asking them to give you a second chance is a very big deal.  They left you because of some strong negative feelings over whatever happened.  This is an important issue.  (Go here for a complete course on How To Get Love Relationship Advice)

Your ex has to take the time to feel the situation through.  Weigh the pros and cons.  They don’t want to make a mistake and take you back only to start feeling bad again.

The wise thing to do is to let them have control of the reconnect.  Ask them to give you a second chance and feel the situation out.  If they seem unsure and seem to need time to think about it, don’t be pushy.  Ask if you can check in with them tomorrow.  If they seem more willing, you can ask to come talk about it with them now.

The smart way to ask you ex to take you back is to let them have control of getting back together.  Your primary task is to apologize and ask.  Then let them have the space to control the reconnecting at their own pace.  You can get a complete system for Get Your Ex Back In Hours here.

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Get Ex Back With No Begging
Friday, May 29th, 2009 • admin

relationship advice

Breaking up is hard to do.  We often feel terribly sad and lonely and the absence makes our heart grow fonder.  It is normal to feel this way, but it can cause us to make mistakes when it comes to getting our ex back.  One mistake is to beg and plead with them to take us back.  You can learn more about getting your love back here.

You hopefully suspect begging doesn’t work.  One issue with pleading piteously is that it doesn’t change their negative feelings about you.  It may reinforce them.  You need to understand the emotional logic that if your ex dumped you, their heart has more negative feelings for you now than positive ones.

Begging doesn’t do anything to change the negative feelings that have built up in their heart.  And, it can make you seem pathetic and desperate not in a good way.

What you should do instead of begging is to have a plan that won’t make you look weak and pitiable.  Your plan needs to have part that helps your ex to release and let go of the bad feelings they have about you or what you did that are keeping you apart.

It depends on why your ex left you, but there are several ways to get them back fast.  You need to follow a plan that includes steps that help them to let go of the bad emotions they have so they can get back to feelings of intimacy.  Go here for a free course on Loving Relationship Advice.

The first step is to own up or fess up to what you did wrong (if you did nothing wrong you will need to follow a different Immediate Reconnect Strategy).  Don’t make excuses or give lame explanations like “it didn’t mean anything.”

The next very important step is to let them get things off their chest.  Let them vent.  Ask them how they feel about whatever happened then LISTEN.  Listening to their feelings is what helps them to let go of their negativity.

There’s much more to all of this.  But just following these first two steps will get you a lot closer to getting your ex back than begging will.  You can get a complete system about Get Ex Back here.

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Making Up With Ex After Infidelity
Monday, May 18th, 2009 • admin

Cheating is, of course, one of the biggest reasons that relationships break up.  When cheating has occurred, the other person believes “I can’t ever trust him or her again.”

That is a common refrain when cheating occurs.  Trust is essential to close, intimate, real love.  When it is broken, we feel like there is no hope for getting it back.  Even if we loved much about our mate, if they cheated on us, we don’t see how we could ever be happy again with them, how could we trust them after such a sense of betrayal.  You can learn more about getting your ex back after infidelity here.

For this reason trust is one of the largest problems in break ups.  Your ex is wondering if they can ever truly trust you not to cheat on them again.  Why get back together if there is just going to be more cheating?  So when break ups happen due to cheating, on of the big issue on your ex’s mind is

Can I ever feel that I can trust you after this?

I mean, if they rejected you because of some problem behavior, like cheating, or fighting, or not communicating with them, then they need to know BEFORE they let you come back that you wont keep doing the thing they left you about.

The emotion of broken trust/betrayal is one of the toughest feelings for an ex lover to get over.  We all believe that trust takes a long time to build.  So when it’s broken, we usually believe it is unfixable, correct?

You must understand the trust issue to see how you can get back together with your ex.  If you can’t deal with the feelings of betrayal and broken trust and the complete emotional distance that it causes, you won’t be able to get back together.  And, if you do somehow luck out and they give you another chance, it won’t last, because without trust there can’t be the feeling of closeness and intimacy we all really want.

So how can you deal with and repair trust issues?  This is a large subject, but one thing that is easy to see is that in most break ups, we all try to avoid blame.  So we tend to try to lay the blame elsewhere.  We say things like “I cheated because I drank too much!”  Or, “I cheated because you were cold and distant!”  The natural way we react when big issues like cheating come up is to try to avoid the blame. 

Give those excuses to your ex and shell think you’re a weak idiot.  She may take you back, but it wont last, there will be real distance, because those excuses don’t allow her to trust you.  What if you get drunk again?  What if she is cold to you a month from now?  What if a pretty skirt tempts you tomorrow when you’re walking down the street? So one of the first powerful things you can do is accept blame.  Take full responsibility.  Don’t offer weak or lame excuses.  You can learn a full system for resolving relationship conflict here.

Instead of weak excuses, you can say something like “I know I broke your trust in me, and I’m so sorry that I did this and made you feel so hurt…”

That is a powerful start to repairing the trust.  If you got cheated on hearing that can help you to begin to deal with the infidelity.  Its like when you have kids and they screw up and you catch them and they try to lie or blame someone else it makes you much angrier.  But if they own up to it you can forgive them much more easily.

There are many other steps that need to be followed before you can truly begin to repair the trust, but this is a very big initial step!  Go here for a free course on Get Relationship Advice.

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Getting Your Ex Back Using Emotional Logic
Friday, May 08th, 2009 • admin

Ok, you’ve fought, argued, broken up, and now you want to get your ex back.  Is there any relationship advice that will work? Learning some more about these topics can help: Get Relationship Advice can help in lots of ways.

During your break up, feelings of anger or hatred or sadness replaced feelings of love and closeness, right?  You started feeling angry or betrayed instead of loving and intimate.  That’s why you fought and had a break up.  This happens every day all over the world.

But after a short while you started to have feelings of regret and you began to miss those feelings of softness and closeness you had with your mate.  What is happening is that your hurt and bad feelings are changing.  This is an important thing to note about emotions.  Angry, hurt feelings aren’t set in stone.  Feelings change.

You know this from your own life.  You’ve been sad about some things and the sadness goes away after a while, doesn’t it?  You get really angry as somebody, yet even a day later you aren’t as mad.  That’s how emotions work.  They change.  Good ones, bad ones, they will shift.  This is useful Emotional Logic to pay attention to.  Emotions shift, they change all the time for all of us.

You know this first hand.  While you were breaking up with your ex, you were angry or very hurt and sad.  Now, those feelings are being replaced, shifting back to desire and longing for the closeness and connection you had with your mate.  Now you want to give it another go.  Your feelings have shifted.  It seems obvious, but the point is important:  feelings change.

But while feelings change, some emotions can get stuck.  The can last a lot longer, can’t they?  If, for example, you cheated on your ex, this can bring up feelings of betrayal and shame.  These are very difficult emotions to process, and you ex may still be very stuck with them.  They aren’t shifting or changing very much at all!

So how can you use something like Emotional Logic to help get back with your ex?  Simple.  You can help them to vent, to get those bad feelings “off their chest.”  Help them to get them out.  So, when you talk to them, ask how they are feeling about what you did or the break up.  Then try to be quiet and give them time to form up their emotions into words and “vent” them.  Listening is an important step in or to Making Up In Hours.

Don’t argue.  Don’t defend yourself.  That just creates more argument.  Instead, make them feel heard and understood.  Ten minutes of venting can really help their negative feelings get released.   Letting your ex vent all over you a time or two after a break up can help them to let go of anger and move back towards more kindly feelings towards you.

There is a lot more to this, but helping your ex to vent their negative feelings is an important step to getting them back in your life.  Emotions change, and you want to help your ex through the process of changing their bad feelings for you into more intimate ones.

You can get a free course here about the specific steps to making up with your ex

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3 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Relationship
Thursday, May 07th, 2009 • admin

Doing just a few things you can enhance your love life.  These three secrets can enhance the quality of your love life starting today.  More detailed information on all of this is available in a free relationship course 7 Vital Relationship Insights You Never Learned In School.

Top Practice Number One:  Play!  Studies have shown that the more play you have with your partner, the less fighting there will be.  So if you are fighting a lot, play more, and test this out for yourself.  Just a few minutesa day of having a good time with your mate can begin to change the feel of your whole relationship.

So do you have a date night at least once a week where you both go spend time playing together like you did in the beginning?  Make the time to have fun with your mate!

Top Tip Number Two:  Get Better At Conflict.  Conflict will occur in any relationship.  How you manage and deal with the conflict is the key to having a better relationship.  During conflict we all tend to revert emotionally to 7 year olds, but screaming at your mate or expressing contempt are some of the big trouble signs for a marriage.

As you will be arguing with your love from time to time anyway, it is good to start now to take some time to learn how to deal with conflict in healthy ways.  One simple method is to learn to attack less during a fight and use “I” statements rather than “you” statements to discuss how you feel.  You can get some free training on conflict and Emotional Intelligence here.

Top Tip Number Three is to Minimize the Mind Reading.  Your spouse can’t read your mind.  They don’t actually just know what you want and need.  Appreciate this and help them out by asking for what you want.  If you need some quiet time, ask for it.  If you need them to just listen instead of give you their advice, ask for that as well.

By asking for what you need, you can prevent a lot of fights and sulking.  And encourage your mate to ask for what they need when they seem unhappy as well.  That’s being a good mate.

There is obviously a lot more to each of these three topics.  Books have been written on them.  But spending some time and effort on these three principles will pay off for your relationship over the long term.  If you’d like to learn more about Relationship Intelligence to transform your love life, you can fix relationship problems with a free course.

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